Lately I have given up one of the things I like to do most.....LAUGH. It seems as though I just can't do it most of the time. Things that used to make me laugh now don't, or I feel myself faking a laugh just to seem like I'm not so dull and hide the hurting inside. It's sad, but true. I feel as though it takes a lot of effort to try and forget what has happened for long enough to be able to laugh. However, I have discovered one thing that I can lose myself in and never fails to make me laugh. Who's Line Is It Anyway?? Anyone who has never seen this show on TV, needs to see it!! It's on every night at 10 pm, and I can promise you...even if you are in the worst mood ever, it may just pull you out of it. This show is completely rediculous, but somehow I always seem to laugh at it. Not just a little giggle.....it's a full on, running out of air, stomach ache laugh. To my surprise, I didn't think that would ever happen again. It feels so good to be able to let go for a minute and not care about anything but this stupid show. A laugh to me is a sense of freedom and feeling carefree....and an ab workout if you can get laughing hard enough.
I realize that this is a strange post....but it's helping to remind me that even when we think life couldn't get any worse, we find ourselves laughing hysterically. My moods have been all over the place since we lost Waylon. Most days I don't know how many personalities or feelings I am going to go through before I decide to settle on one. Then the next day it's a different one or two or twelve. Ranging from anger and sadness to feeling guilty, fearful and grateful all in the same hour. It's an emotional rollercoaster ride and personally I don't like this ride anymore....I want to get off the rollercoaster NOW please. Afterall, how many emotions can one person possibly go through before they have totally confused everyone around them.
As I try and regulate myself, I hope that my family and friends can bear with me. I know I will never be the same but I hope to one day be able to genuinely laugh at something other than a TV show. I love my family so much!! All of you NEED to watch this show!! I promise you'll like it. :)
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